|toxic swamp ice-cream for |
little monsters everywhere!
I decided to do a mini-taste test, on the basis that I probably wasn't the ice cream's demographic (being neither a parent nor a child). I knew my marketing background would come in useful one day!
My friend, Mother Guinea Pig, came around with her ten year old son, Master Guinea Pig, for lunch. Mother GP is one of those mothers who doesn't want her child to be defiled by food additives, chemicals, artificial colouring and half a hundred weight of sugar. I would totally agree with this. But I was a bit taken aback when she folded her arms, fixed me with a basilisk glare, and said "Much as I love you, Kelly, you're not going to poison us, are you?" As if!
Master GP was out in the garden, tormenting the cat. When I say tormenting, what I mean is that he was trying to make friends with her. Unfortunately she is a spinster cat of particular habits, which promptly had a fit of the vapours and lodged herself firmly under the garden swing, refusing to entertain my young guest as if he was some kind of miniature hound from hell.
So Master GP had returned to the kitchen to see if something more interesting was happening, only to overhear Mother GP's disapproving comments as we stood looking at the clear plastic container of what looked like pale green ice-cream. "Cooooooooooooooool" he said. I thought this was a good thing, although from the withering look his mother gave me, it was quite probable that she didn't feel the same way. Master GP was also anointed with cat scratches and apparently had a small bump on his head (from hitting it on the swing, while trying to stroke the menopausal cat from hell). I felt that I should try and make it up to him in some way, although I knew I was probably about to get a lecture from Mother GP on not rewarding children with food. But hey, my house, my rules.
While I am not a mother, I am also guessing in that way of perverse way that kids have, that if you (the alleged adult) suggest that something is probably not good for them, it makes them want it more. It seemed that Master GP was chomping at the bit and more than happy to taste something that was described as a "cool mint flavoured toxic sludge, with swirls of strawberry ‘zombie blood’ and white chocolate ‘crunchy broken bones’. His mother made me taste it first, despite my protests that it wasn't aimed at me and that despite it's truly pretty pale green colour - a sort of 1930s eau de nil, that I am averse to mint flavours, always associating them with toothpaste. (Not that there is anything wrong with mint toothpaste, I just find overwhelming mint flavours difficult to deal with. Seriously, I was the kid that played with After Eight wrappers, after everyone else had eaten the contents!)
Clearly I had to show willing and had a taste. It was . . . interesting . . . tasted of mint. Actually a good, creamy and fresh flavour. There was the interesting addition of the fruit puree and of course, bits of white chocolate. (OK, I have to confess, I am not and never have been a fan of white chocolate . . . even as a kid . . . I know, it's unnatural!)
Mother GP was pleasantly surprised. It turns out she likes mint and white chocolate. Master GP was in seventh heaven. This is the child that tells me that most of my food is rubbish, apart from my home made bread. But that at least this time "Even you couldn't ruin it, Aunt Rachel" . . . out of the mouths of babes!
Deciding that my research wasn't quantitative enough, I went round to Heathcliffe's as he's a chap who is always open to new experiences, tastes and flavours and is probably far more in touch with his inner child than I am.
His response was that it "tastes a bit like face cream smells" . . . which I thought was bang on. It does have a flavour of the "dressing-up box" about it! Heath also thought it was "so wrong it's kinda of right" . . . and after several trips back to the freezer, we had finished the lot!
So if you're looking for an icy treat for your little monsters over Halloween, then Toxic Swamp, made with fresh British milk and cream, no artificial colourings or flavouring, then I think this is probably and ice cream to scream for!