Faster, higher, stronger?
I am ready to serve my country . . .
I realise that recently I have been concentrating on the favourite food of the kind of people who like lots of variety in flavours and textures. Mezze, tapas and antipasti are perfect, not just for the summer (what summer I hear you ask, as the rain pelts past the window), but for champion nibblers like me. In fact, if grazing were an Olympic sport, I suspect I would have a shot at medal glory.
It's not as if I haven't been in training for years - every day since my early teens. I am focused and dedicated; prepared to sacrifice a normal life for a grazing workout. I've shot up the hierarchy, from a weedy fly- or bantam-weight and am now pulling no punches with the middles- and heavy-weights of my acquaintance. I am a fully-fledged grazer with winning potential - faster and stronger than many of my opponents.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not in this for the kudos or glory. But I do think that the Olympic Committee may have missed a trick or two. If sport is to be used as a force for good, then surely getting more people actively involved is a priority. So to encourage sporting duffers like me to get involved would certainly help to improve our sense of achievement. Making grazing an Olympic option is the perfect solution to this sense of well-being. I, like many others, have been working out for decades, with no recognition of our prowess. We need Olympic justice and there is no better way than an Olympic sized grazing event.
So if the Olympic Committee do see the error of their ways. Clearly the most important thing, as Olympic enthusiast and founder of the modern Olympic Games, Pierre Frédy, Baron de Coubertin said "The most important thing is not to win but to take part!" So if London 2012 or Team GB feels the need, then I am ready to serve my country.
I await their call . . .