in praise of damien trench: baked camembert

baked camembert with garlic, rosemary and bacon

My favourite radio food writer, Damien Trench, is back. He returns on Radio 4 for another series of his superlative programme, In and Out of the Kitchen. I have so missed his wise, fulsome words and unflappable approach to food.

Damien Trench is the comic creation of Miles Jupp; a gentle parody of the most florid aspects of food writing. The programme is an absolute hoot.

an easy vegetarian curry (pea, egg and potato)

pea, egg and potato curry

I arrived at University several decades ago with a box of books, a suitcase of vintage clothing and a complete inability to cook. The days of me pouring over my copy of My Learn to Cook Book ended the moment I discovered boys, booze and thick black mascara.

celebrate chinese new year with dragon cookies (loong peng)

dragon cookies (loong peng)

When Malaysian Chinese people found out that I was born in the Year of the Dragon, they cooed and petted me. "Pantai" (clever) they said. You will be very lucky, they said. Very auspicious. Noble, they said. (Annoying, bossy, old big head, said my little brother).

what's in season: february

an orange for Chinese New Year

It's raining. It's been raining constantly for months. It has been the wettest four weeks in over 100 years *. My personal ark, (the good ship Get Stuffed) is about to be dragged out of the shed for her annual spring clean. Still, there is always good food to look forward to, even while splashing around in your galoshes (although not I suspect if your kitchen has been flooded).

a winter warmer: felicity cloake's perfect borscht

borscht soup

In a bizarre reversal of the Goldilocks story, a couple in Siberia, spending a night in their holiday cottage, were disturbed by the sounds of breaking glass and the pitter-patter of enormous clawed feet. A bear was breaking and entering, encouraged by the smell of a pan of borscht that had been left on the stove to cool.

seafood chowder

seafood chowder

For the foreseeable future I shall be cooking for a friend of mine who is quite unwell. But while Chris is poorly, he hasn't lost his appetite at all; just his usual ease in swallowing. Feeling a bit helpless, I offered to make him soup and his eyes lit up. Poor old Chris had been living off baked beans and scrambled eggs, so he welcomed my intervention.

This arrangement is brilliant for both of us: Chris gets healthy, strengthening soups and I get to try out old favourites and make new discoveries. One of my first discoveries is that I don't hate seafood chowder at all.

blood orange and lime zinger

blood orange and lime zinger

Now seems to be the season for healthy smoothies and fruit drinks, as well as pledges of alcohol abstinence. I have to admit that I am not much of a fan of smoothies, largely because most of the commercially available ones have bananas in them; I am guessing because they are low in fat and give some bulk, as well as being jam packed full of vitamins.

yotam ottolenghi's iranian vegetable stew with dried lime

iranian vegetable stew with dried lime

If you were to look at an old-fashioned atlas, you would see Great Britain as a small island, surrounded by water (and probably the odd sea monster or mermaid, depending on the age of the map). Clearly that is by definition what being an island is all about .But kick it up a notch to something a little more 21st century and let's look at that island map in 3D. Right now I think it would be fair to say that the British Isles are surrounded by water from all directions, not just around our coastline, but all over the land mass too; as if we are being gobbed on by some monstrous Leviathan. If there was a land equivalent of a retractable stadium roof, we'd be begging for it to be closed; anything to get away from the damned rain and storms.

what's in season: january

orange clove pomander for the new year

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.
G.K. Chesterton

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain

chorizo, nutella, sour cheese and pickled apple crostini

chorizo and nutella crostini with pickled apples and labneh

A few years ago I started to make a party canape that was essentially a crostini smeared with Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread) and topped with a crisp slice of Spanish chorizo sausage. While some people were a bit suspicious of the combination of cured pork with chocolate, they were usually won over by the flavour. What it lacked in sophistication, it definitely made up for in taste. It is, if I say so myself, a bit fabulous.

The reason why I think it works is because of the synchronicity in “companion eating” - serving meat with the kind of fruit or vegetables the animal might once have eaten - so venison with blackberries, or pork with apple and nuts. The peppery spices in the chorizo also seem to have an affinity with both hazelnuts and chorizo.

nasi goreng (malaysian fried rice)

nasi goreng

It's not often that I turn from mild-mannered cook by day into my foodie crime-fighting alter-ego; righting food wrongs with a wave of my magic feather boa. I am not saying that the feather boa actually works, but I prefer it to a cape and too-tight knickers; to each super hero(ine) their own fashion-sense. It seems to work for me.

smoking bishop

smoking bishop

There are three constants in all my life – food, literature and history. So if I can cook or drink a thing that combines my other loves, I count myself as very happy indeed. Although after drinking a Smoking Bishop or two, I may be happy but not entirely sober!